This is the eighth time, because I’m getting frustrated at this very opening, and it got silly. Along with six other failures besides.
It’s probably been almost two months since I wrote consistently. I wish I had some epiphany to share, or something that would make the entire idea more palatable. There’s not. All there is is the same as every time before.
I’m not here to hate myself, or to complain. I have to actually remind myself about that, which is pathetic in it’s own way.
At the same time, that is part of the lesson my life is trying to teach me. This is hard. We will fail. Get back up, get back to work. I’ve had the misfortune at being good at a lot of things I hate doing, and struggling with the things I love. I become enamored with whatever I find difficult and choose that path because the easy one is boring. While I loved making stories, I didn’t get interested in writing until I got my teeth kicked in four English papers in a row. I am more desperate to learn Japanese because people were doubtful it would be worth doing.
Perhaps that is why I want to learn to be an independent writer. Getting published normally isn’t easy, but it’s simpler. Write the greatest possible thing you can, send it to dozens of people, and keep doing that over and over until it gets published. Certainly not easy, I know. Here, though, everything is on me. (Or maybe I don’t want to talk to other people.)
So, what to do? Even if I’m tired, even if I’m lost, there is nothing else to do but move forward. At the moment, a few things come to mind.
First of all! Write and post consistently. Every week, at least, on the same day, at a quality level I have to push to achieve. No more time off. No more evasions. I need to get back in and get going.
I am here, and I want this to be something more than a hobby. That means I need to convert this writing skill into something which can earn me money, and I need to position myself so a business based around it can thrive and grow. Showing up every day is central.
Second, fiction. I am not a non-fiction writer. I am a fiction writer, though it would be hard to tell from this place. It is time to correct that.
My plan calls for at least two: a weekly, shorter, highly serialized story, and a monthly short-story series. It may not be clear what the difference is, but I’ll try to explain quickly. The weekly series does not need to settle the narrative arc that it covers in a single issue. The monthly one will have complete stories, while characters and situations carry from issue to issue. A better explanation is forthcoming.
I almost know which story to use for each one. Expect the weekly to start up first, though it’s more drawn out than that. Also expect a thoroough description of this to buy myself time to build up enough fiction to publish.
Third, knowledge and skills. I don’t have a ton of research for the stories I want to write at this point, byt there is a lot to learn and implement for this blog. Better writing skills, search engines, emails, publishing, editing, guest posting, standards, legal requirements, and god knows what else. I have plenty I want to talk about, but I need to know more before I have something worthwile to say.
…Sometimes, it feels like there is too much to do. But the other side is, if there is too much to do, then I better start now, or nothing will ever get done. When there is too much, pick what has to get done and finish it. Maybe the momentum will solve things, or maybe it will all fall apart. But inaction is only making the problem worse.
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